How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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