I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Randomize
