Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
