Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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