I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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