How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
