Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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