so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
