Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
