dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Mom said you looked used
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize