Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
