i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
