can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
