Your face is a jimmy john
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
