i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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