Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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