Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
