my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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