I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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