I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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