so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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