i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
