his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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