i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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