after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
