the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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