I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
