A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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