I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize