Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
