they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
