Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Let's get the cat blown out
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
