I wish you could order shots online.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize