I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
