She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We had sex on a dog bed..
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
