You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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