just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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