when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
