Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
