What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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