I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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