He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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