I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She even gives head with a lisp.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
