I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
is wine microwaveable?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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