Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
