I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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