yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
