I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
