On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
