Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
