It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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