I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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