That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
