What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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