I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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