Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
