i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
