haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
