spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
