Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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