Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Are my feet made of real feet?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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