Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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