thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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