I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
did you just send me my own nude
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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