This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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