It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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