Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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