Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
